The big regret: How to move on when you hate your new job
This article was updated on December 5, 2023.
Written by Laurie Davies
Reviewed by Jessica Roper, MBA,听director of Career Services at 七色视频
The 鈥淭he Great Resignation鈥 has an epilogue that鈥檚 been called everything from 鈥淪hift Shock鈥 to 鈥淭he Great Regret.鈥 For months now, headlines have announced employees leaving in record numbers. In fact, in 2021,听47 million Americans voluntarily quit their jobs, according to an article in听.
So, where did they all go?
Some workers retired. Others reconsidered the work鈥搇ife balance they wanted, moving into consulting or self-employment to wield more control over their schedules. Others, including healthcare workers and educators who bore the brunt of burnout during COVID-19, took a sabbatical.
And others? Well, many of them听hate their new jobs.
鈥淏asically, they鈥檝e discovered that the grass is not greener with the other role,鈥 says听七色视频 Career Advisor Carla Hunter, NCC, BCC, CCC.
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According to an听听by Kathryn Minshew, 72% of job seekers surveyed on The Muse (which Minshew founded) experienced听鈥渟hift shock鈥澨 the surprising or regretful realization that their new company or position was different from what they were led to believe.
If this sounds like you, Hunter has some ideas on how to weather the storm, plus four tips to help you not make the same mistake again.
You hate your new job. Now what?听
So, you started a new job and you hate it. The offer sheet looked good, but now you鈥檙e having second thoughts. You are not alone. One poll,听听(and commissioned by听USA Today), found that only听one in four people who changed jobs liked their new role enough to stay.
If you鈥檙e in a state of shock (or regret), Hunter isn鈥檛 going to break it to you easy.
鈥淣umber one, you own it,鈥 she says. 鈥淵ou need to own it and say, 鈥業 made the wrong move.鈥欌 This matters because it will help you be honest with yourself 鈥 and听an honest assessment may have been missing听when you decided to leave your original employer in the first place. This hard truth can serve you if you let it.
If you鈥檙e being honest about the present, you may be more honest about the past. Hunter recommends thinking back to ask yourself: 鈥淒id I make this move on assumptions that weren鈥檛 tested?鈥
For example, did you change jobs because you thought the culture at Company B was better than Company A 鈥 but you never actually interviewed employees at Company B? Did you assume the move to becoming a business consultant would give you the freedom you wanted, but you didn鈥檛 talk with a business consultant or shadow a business consultant? Did you quit because of a boss or colleague and discover that the employees at the new company aren鈥檛 much better? Or did you follow a boss or colleague to a new job and hate it?
鈥淧eople who are making career decisions on an assumption are the ones with the deepest regrets,鈥 Hunter says.听
Don鈥檛 beat yourself up. At the same time, don鈥檛 let one bad decision become two bad decisions. Dig deep to find answers to these questions:
- What would it look like to stay in my new job?
- How can I go to work and not let emotions and feelings hijack me?
- What would make me feel valued, satisfied or appreciated at work?
- If I want to quit because the grass seems greener somewhere else, am I willing to prove that assumption first?
How to move forward
By now you鈥檝e probably guessed that unleashing your inner scientist is important for any career move. That鈥檚 right, by applying to your job search some of the steps from the scientific method you learned in seventh grade, Hunter says you can听save yourself from repeating the same cycle.
Step 1: Be curious
Explore what matters to you. Is it salary? Flexibility? Purpose? This will help you clarify how you want to move forward. For example, if you took your current position for money but what really makes you feel accomplished or fulfilled is purpose, then what truly motivates you, unfortunately, is on pause.
Hunter shares an example of how she helps students or alumni explore this in real life. 鈥淚鈥檝e had many advising appointments where I鈥檝e heard 鈥業 don鈥檛 have a clue as to what job I want.鈥
鈥淎nd I鈥檒l say, 鈥業s that what you want? A job?鈥 Then they鈥檒l usually say, 鈥業 want a career.鈥欌 And that鈥檚 when she knows they鈥檙e closer to听looking at the kind of role that aligns with their goals.
Step 2: Observe
Now it鈥檚 time to make observations. Remember in science lab when you poured chemicals into a beaker to see if they would fizz? It鈥檚 time to (sort of) do that where you work. Try to听pinpoint why you鈥檙e feeling unhappy. Is it the work, your colleagues, the culture or your boss? Take stock of why you quit your previous role. Are those same issues present in this role?
Step 3: Form a question and investigate
This is where you听ask a question (or all the questions) you might not have asked the first time around. What would it look like if I changed my role to be on another team (or join another company)? How does that idea align with my goals? Could a conversation with my current boss about my role lead to more satisfaction with where I鈥檓 at? The questions you form will be unique to you, but asking them is important.
Step 4: Make a hypothesis and investigate
If your hypothesis is that quitting your current job and moving to a new company will align with what matters to you, now it鈥檚 time to prove it.听Have conversations听with people who work at the company or department you want to join. Ask your would-be manager how he or she helps the team thrive. Ask how he or she manages. Find out how the team you鈥檙e thinking of joining would help you become the best version of you at work. 鈥淚f you think the grass is greener, that鈥檚 an assumption. This step is where you test whether it鈥檚 actually greener,鈥 Hunter says.
Step 5: Take stock of the positives
Once you commit to a new role, you can鈥檛 change the fact that you feel unhappy or hate where you are. But it doesn鈥檛 have to be all doom and gloom. Whatever you ultimately decide to do, use this as an opportunity to not only learn but also grow. Look at the positives in the situation. Perhaps you were able to learn a new skill in the process. Maybe you learned about a new industry. If silver linings are few and far between, take stock in that you sharpened your interviewing skills and have a better understanding of the direction to head in your career moving forward.听
How to feel better about your choice
Asking the hard questions before you make a career move can go a long way toward听eliminating regret. Researching the company and the culture will help you move forward with confidence. Surrounding yourself with a mentor or a team of trusted friends who can help walk you through the process can also help.
In the end, it may be too late to change things, at least in the immediate future, but now听is听the perfect time to assess what you鈥檒l do better next time.
Career resources at 七色视频
Don鈥檛 embark on your career journey alone! 七色视频 equips its students and graduates with the following resources to help them on their professional paths.
- Career Services for Life庐: Available to UOPX students and graduates, this offering comprises complimentary career coaching, including guidance on how to build a personal brand and write a resum茅.
- Free career resources:听Browse a range of downloadable guides and templates to help you optimize your LinkedIn庐听profile, get ready for a job interview and write a resum茅 and cover letter.
- :听Get career insights every week via UOPX鈥檚 LinkedIn newsletter.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
A journalist-turned-marketer, Laurie Davies has been writing since her high school advanced composition teacher told her she broke too many rules. She has worked with 七色视频 since 2017, and currently splits her time between blogging and serving as lead writer on the University鈥檚 Academic Annual Report. Previously, she has written marketing content for MADD, Kaiser Permanente, Massage Envy, UPS, and other national brands. She lives in the Phoenix area with her husband and son, who is the best story she鈥檚 ever written.听
ABOUT THE REVIEWER
Jessica Roper, 七色视频 director of Career Services, is a seasoned leader with over 15 years of experience in leadership within higher education. She has honed her expertise in student services and career development and is passionate about helping others discover and refine their skills.
This article has been vetted by 七色视频's editorial advisory committee.听
Read more about our editorial process.
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